I know this isn’t an A&E blog, but I just need to comment on Rock of Love. So for a brief moment allow me to reflect on the television show, which now takes place on a tour bus.
Are they kidding me?
OK, that’s all. But before you think I hate Rock of Love on the Bus or whatever it’s called please be aware that I tune in every Sunday night at 9. I just can’t believe this show exists.
Anyway, I need to slip into Rocky Balboa status tommorow and relay like a champ, because I go from 9a.m. to approximately 10:30p.m. with a 2 hour break in between.
Boohoo poor me. But not really poor me at all, because the one thing that will be keeping me going all day is the notion that upon my return home I’ll be greeted with the giant heart shaped Russell Stover box of candies that my mom and dad sent me for Valentines day.
Heart shaped boxes of candy are my favorite! I feel like a real classic female when I open up that red box and go searching for the perfect square, circular or rectangular shaped chocolate covered candy goodness. It’s strange, I would never go out and buy a strawberry coated chocolate thinger at CVS or something, ew, but when I pick one out of the heart shaped box the taste is like nothing else in the world! SO good.
For the record, my favorite chocolate in the box is coconut, and said candies are usually shaped like circles and are slightly wider than the other circles in the box. It’s always my mission to try and guess what the flavors are – but I never use the given cheat sheet. Russell Stover would never allow it. That’s too Whitman’s sampler for my Stover heart. Come to think of it, I don’t know if Russell Stover even supplies patrons with a candy cheat sheet. It’s immoral anyway.
But I digress – back to feeling like a lady. It’s very lady-like to eat from a heart shaped box of chocolates. It may mean you are loved, or it may mean you have had your heart broken, or maybe you have a secret admirer even, or a stalker, or maybe it means you are a confident woman who bought yourself a box of chocolates for Valentines day. It could mean you are a frugal and modern woman, who bought herself a heart shaped box of chocolates after February 14th for 75% off. No matter where it came from, a large and frilly heart shaped box of chocolates, and eating from a heart shaped box of chocolates never means you’ve done anything erroneous or miserable or hideous like having vacuumed or ironed or taken out a stain or conducted a science experiment or fed a tarantula a live mouse or something.
Yes. Heart shaped boxes of candy are more than just boxes of candy. They are heart shaped boxes of girl power! Or something like that? I’m tired.
